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| Chronicles of the Cake Stop |
| Vol VI No. 3 |
Soundtrack:
Leftfield - Leftism |
Aeroflash leads Newbie
out of the door and across the vast plantation of Sheffield stands. With the advent of Summer, the tiny
silver buds that had been threatening to rust in Winter are now shooting forth, sending out suckers that
find tiny cracks in the tarmac and root fast and deep and hard, forming gleaming new lines of racks to
provide space for the yearly influx of new cyclists. It is one of the best things about the Cake Stop: the
way it can swell, expand and welcome incomers with barely a sign that anything is changing. The way
it grows is organic, and everything that is part of the Cake Stop is also, in its own way, organic. Hence
the stands reproduce, occasionally producing freak mutations like those with extra bars or, memorably,
the one in psychedelic pink paisley.
Newbie has not visited the Temple before. Not many of the Cake Stoppers have. It's not that they are
not welcome there, or that they feel they cannot go: most of them simply do not want to. He stays close
by Aeroflash as the ghostly yet manifest cyclist guides him through the Blackthorn Wood, where the
holes have owls and the owls have holes; over the tiny bridge across the silver stream, where lives the
troll that bit Spen some time back and who, even now, occasionally tries to ambush wary travellers
with tales of safe speed and how faster cars are safer. Then it is a short stroll across the meadow, where
the buttercups are reflecting the golden splendour of the sun and bees are humming between the
flowers like little dots bouncing out sets of song lyrics. Daisies nod lazily to the butterflies and purple
clubs of clover wait to be picked as weapons by the worms in their battle against the shrew army.
The Temple itself is gleaming in the hot summer sun, the spire of the Sanctum driving up into the
searing blue sky, so high that even on a day like this there are tiny wisps of vapour somewhere near the
top. The ravens look down from their nest, cawing and croaking. The high doors of heavy, panelled
oak, held fast with hinges made by Hope to the specifications of the Temple clergy, stand open, letting
some of the cool dimness of the Fountain Room spill out onto the precinct. The glimmers of the sacred
chainrings hanging from the ceiling can be seen from some distance away.
Inside there is the fountain, gushing and splashing, with the sacred sword Caledfwlch stuck fast into the
black rock beneath the cascading water. There is a titanium MSR mug on a thin chain attached to the
fountain, there for quenching the thirst of weary travellers. Newbie lets his fingers pass through the
water, finding it shocking, icy cold.
A small group of long, lean and graceful Temple Maidens pass them on their way about their duties,
smiling sunnily at Aeroflash, who is well known to all the Temple. A pair of Temple Guards, their
Adonis-like looks making it all too clear from whence they got their handsome features, are standing
one each side of the archway that leads from the Fountain Room into the main part of the Temple. Each
is carrying a six-foot drift, and has an evil-looking chainset hung from his belt.
Newbie swallows, nervous, but Aeroflash reassures him and leads him through into the Temple.
It is quiet in there. Dust motes hang in the air like effervescent plankton, and beams of light pierce the
gloom in discrete shafts, penetrating the vast space from hidden windows. Marble floors and stone
walls cause every slight sound to echo, amplifying everything from a scuff of cleat on floor to the slight
grating sound of lycra clad-legs brushing past one another each stride.
A slight, petite but perfectly formed Temple Maiden hurries over, somehow remaining noiseless.
"Philippa is away at a training camp in Italy with Steelman and Helga, Aeroflash," she says in a soft
voice, hushed to dampen the echoes rather than out of any sense of modesty. She has an incredibly
sweet smile.
"I'm not here for a massage, Flo." Aeroflash tells her. "Newbie needs to talk to the Goddess."
"Oh!" The Temple Maiden called Flo bites her lip in an unconsciously provocative expression. "Has
Ravenbait not been performing her duties?"
"We are not being neglected, if that is what you mean," Aeroflash replies. "She just hasn't seen Van
Helsing yet, and the weather has turned good enough for the Pinarello to come out: I think it would be
best to talk to the Goddess direct. Ravenbait might be a little distracted at the moment."
"Mmm. Yes. I see what you mean. You had best come through." She smiles, blue eyes dazzling, and
leads the way to the Sanctum.
They walk in, and a single drop of water falls from high up in the tower, a tiny globule of refracted
sunlight, liquid sun falling with impossible slowness and clarity to splatter upon the inlaid marble floor.
In the shadows surrounding the sunbeam-illuminated mosaic of the sacred chainset there is just visible
the outlines of the vast statues of the three aspects of the Triple Goddess: Road, MTB, BMX.
Newbie stands and stares, not quite able to comprehend what he is seeing. Aeroflash steps forward and
murmurs a low intonation, bowing his head briefly, then retreats once more and looks up.
The statues come to life, metal and stone gaining organic warmth, skin softening and becoming
animate. With the slowness and inevitability of tectonic plates, they move forward onto the edge of the
circle of light and look down.
"Aeroflash," the Road Goddess says with a warmth that her glittering black eyes could never express.
"Still here?"
"It is impossible to stay away, my Lady," Aeroflash replies with a slight grin.
"And what have you brought for us?" asks the MTB Goddess.
The BMX Goddess leans forward, bending over with her hands on her knees, roughly plaited hair
falling over her shoulder. She grins. "Someone new! This is most excellent. Dissed any fruitbooters
recently, Newbie?"
"Um...argh..." Newbie gargles, lost for words at the sight of a sixty-feet high BMX babe's perfect
cleavage.
"I think the cat's got his tongue," says the MTB Goddess.
"Not the cat, my Lady," Aeroflash says, with tones mildly reproachful at their teasing.
"No, not the cat," the Road Goddess sighs. "One day, perhaps, Lance will lose his arrogant streak;
however, for the meantime, I expect that you have come to us for help."
"Yes, my Lady. Newbie is somewhat concerned about the integrity of his head-neck combination,"
Aeroflash says.
"I can see that would be a concern," says the MTB Goddess. "If your head comes away from your
neck, it's all over."
"It would suck mightily." The BMX Goddess nods.
"I thought you might be able to offer some advice," Aeroflash adds.
There is a moment's pause, an eternity caught in an instant of deific contemplation. Another drop of
molten sunlight falls with infinite care and consideration from the high ceiling to splash upon the floor.
The Triple Goddess stands tall, each aspect moving in unison with Her sisters.
"Hark, young Newbie, and heed well," declaims the Road Goddess, the glittering black of her eyes as
sharp as diamond. "You have been set a Challenge, and that Challenge you have accepted. The die is
cast; you may not retreat. Go ye then. Go ye on a Quest to find that which will keep ye from harm. Go
ye on a Quest and find that which will aid and abet. Go ye on a Quest and choose from your fellows of
the wheel one companion to ride with you, to stand by you, to take the wind when fatigue would claim
you and to keep you on the road in the hard, dark times. Only one may you take, mark ye: only one,
and that one must agree and come willingly, of his own accord.
"Go ye, Newbie. The road lies ahead. It awaits."
The three pairs of eyes look down upon them, three sets of glittering orbs in onyx, emerald and
sapphire.
"Go," say the Sisters of the Wheel as one.
They step back into the shadows and life retreats from the stone and metal representations.
Newbie stands for a while, unable to move. Aeroflash waits, considerately giving him time to
comprehend what he has just seen and heard. Only when a final droplet of golden water falls to the
floor does Newbie come back to himself.
"A Quest?" he asks, as Aeroflash gently but firmly leads him out of the Sanctum: not an appropriate
place for discussions. "I don't know what I'm looking for or where to go or anything!"
"Why don't you choose your companion and see if that helps," Aeroflash suggests gently.
"Choose?" Newbie repeats.
"Yes. Choose who you would like to go with you," Aeroflash tells him, nodding to Flo and some other
Temple Maidens as he steers their course towards the door.
"But who?" Newbie asks, sounding rather lost.
Who indeed?
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