| Chronicles of the Cake Stop |
| Character Biographies |
| Gunner Rodgers |
Gunner Rodgers was the victim of an unfortunate time travel experiment perpetrated by a top-secret Allied scientific team comprising some of the greatest minds on the planet — some of whom went on to take part in the Philadelphia Experiment — shortly after the start of World War 2. In a vain attempt to prevent Hitler coming to power, the Allies determined to send one of their living treasures, a true hero, back in time to undertake a complex mission that would prevent the monster ever reaching maturity.
Unfortunately, Captain America had just developed a severe case of haemorrhoids and was declared medically unfit.
In his place they sent Gunner Rodgers, a Special Forces man whose upper lip was of such famous rigidity the Red Feathers (Second Battalion Duke of Cornwall's Light Infantry, formerly the Light Company of the 46th Foot) had even composed a marching song in his honour:
Gunner's got one oh so hard
The ladies all hold him in high regard
You'll never see him in a shiver
But boy does he make the girls all quiver!
Four - three - two - one!
Gunner's got a stiff one!
The project went somewhat wrong when the time stream opened by the project scientists crossed with a time stream being used by Biggles and his crew. Gunner was ripped out of his intended trajectory and spent several long months in the company of Biggles, Ginger and the rest, becoming an honorary member of RFC Squadron 266.
The science team responsible for the time machine Biggles had been using tried to send Gunner back to his own time, but Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and Xeno's Paradox got in the way again. Gunner ended up in the 20th Century, suffering some rearrangement of his mental processes on the way, which accounts for his occasional confusion, and was again put to work by the Allied Special Forces until being given an honourable discharge after performing a particularly sensitive but successful mission for Queen and country.
Gunner's favoured steed is a Giant OCR team replica, although he is also keen on the attractions offered by the domain of the MTB Goddess. He can often be found demonstrating his prowess out in the wilds of the Yorkshire Moors. His skills with persons of a female persuasion are still legendary.
He is a founding member of the League of Gentlemen Cyclists: indeed, some would say that he is the living embodiment of the principles that underpin this most fine of establishments. He is also regarded as one of the Cake Stop's greatest assets, both for his consummate skill on the battlefield and his unending wisdom in the ways of women.
FROM THE FILES OF THE ABD
Sex: Male
Height: Whatever it is, he looks taller
Weight: Just right for whatever size he is
Eye colour: Blue
Hair: Stylish
Race: Caucasian
Distinguishing features:
He appears to be the result of a transporter accident between Terry Thomas and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
MEMO
This guy's the real deal, folks. They don't come much harder than this. He has more combat experience than all of our guys put together, and has experienced war zones as diverse as Flander's, Tobruk and Hamburger Hill. We're not likely to be able to take him down unless we run him over in a tank, and I'm not sure that would work either. Mind control devices will not work on him because of the way his brain was rewired during the time travelling experiments. Apparently he kept himself together by thinking about "the fairer sex" and now his brain automatically resets to that default every six seconds or so. Explains his way with the ladies, but it's going to make it real hard for us to come up with a strategy for taking him out.
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